


Love is Not a Victory March

by 500daysofvic



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Adoption, Angst, Cute, Divorce, F/M, Fluff, Hamilton - Freeform, Infidelity, Lams - Freeform, M/M, Philip - Freeform, Surrogate, Wedding, alex and john, cheat, gay wedding, john and alex, maria is for eliza, not with maria, say no to this, wow victoria back at it with a heartbreaking fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-09-28 01:27:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10061741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/500daysofvic/pseuds/500daysofvic
Summary: a slow build to 'Say No To This" and the aftermath of actually cheating on your significant other, LAMs style.On hold until I finish 'Can You Hear Me'





	1. A Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow Victoria back at it again with starting a fic while you have a fic going, and you have a one shot set you're working on. whatever i really liked this idea i came up with while writing a chapter for my one shot book thing- whatever enjoy!

Chapter 1 

A wedding, blossoming love

 

John nervously fiddles with his bowtie for the eighth time in ten minutes, everything has to be perfect today. Peggy pushes his hands down to his side and fixes the tie “god damn it john if I have to fix this god has forsaken tie again you’re going without!” 

John laughs softly as she adjusts his vest and suit jacket “I just want everything to be perfect pegs. Thank you.” she dusts his shoulder softly and smiles, she isn’t making eye contact but John can see tears forming in her eyes and john breaks into a toothy grin

“Margarita Schuyler, are you crying? Are those? TEARS?” john yells smiling brightly. Peggy just shoves him wiping her eyes, laughing “fuck off john! I’m allowed to be emotional today! My small bean is getting married. Married to an asshole, yes. But married!” 

John laughs softly, going deep into thought “Remember how nervous I was to introduce you all to him?”

_John nervously fixed his hair in the mirror in the hallway of his apartment, he decided his hair being down was a good idea, but now the ringlets are fighting him, it looks like a fucking afro, this New York humidity was shit today. He sighs and pulls his hair into a low ponytail and shrugs, walking into the living room where his friends sat, Herc eating a bowl of ramen, Laf looking through pictures of his dead dog and Eliza flipping through tv channels “do you guys promise?” he says smoothing his shirt down again. The trio sigh and roll their eyes saying a chorus of “yes” and “we promise”_

_“we’ll be good, Johnny we promise” Laf adds smiling._

_Suddenly Peggy walks in slamming the door and flopping on the couch defeated, and john sits on the arm of the couch next to her “what’s wrong pegs?”_

_“so I called the bank about that $500 they credited my account and they sent me a letter” she says pulling out the white paper from her purse “Dear Ms. Schuyler, thank you for informing us of our mistake, we have credited your account $500 and please accept this” she pulls a large football phone out of her purse “football phone as a free gift from us!” she slams her hands on the couch in defeat. Eliza stands and snatches the paper “what fucking bank is this?!” everyone laughs at this, then suddenly the door buzzer sounds and john shoots up “okay, that should be him be cool!” he hits the button on the intercom_

_“who is it?”_

_Alexanders soft voice comes through the intercom “it's Alex, the love of your life”. The words make a thick blush crawl across Johns' face as his friends let out an echo of groans and ‘ew’ noises. John turns back to them, who have now all congregated into his kitchen, and clasps his hands together “please, please be good. Just remember how much you all like me and want me to be happy?” he begs. Peggy scoffs “no one said we like you, you’ve just got the best apartment out of all of us” causing the entire group to burst into fits of laughter. John just shakes his head as Alex knocks on the door_

_When john opens the door his breath is taken away. Alexander is standing there in a navy t-shirt, a black cardigan, dark-wash jeans and a pair of white converse that really pull the whole thing together. His raven hair is down and flowing around his shoulders. In his hands, he has a small square vase of Hydrangeas, Johns favorite. John smiles brightly as Alex hands him the flowers and steps aside to let Alex step in._

_“everyone, this is Alexander, Alex this is everyone” Alex smiles brightly to the mass of people standing in the kitchen and waves “hello, it’s so nice to meet everyone.”_

_A few hours later John walks alexander to the door smiling “I’ll call you later?” John asks smiling softly leaning on his door. Alex smiles and plants a warm kiss on his cheek “of course, my dear Laurens, as always” he says as he turns and walks away, once john closes the door he turns to his friends sitting in his living room and sits on the arm of his couch next to Laf. “well lay it on me, let the Alex-Bashing begin. Who’s gonna start? Hmm?”_

_Laf speaks first “I’ll go, let’s start with the way he kept picking at hi-“ Laf starts laughing softly “no mon ami I can’t do this we loved him”_

_The rest of the group breaks in praising him and agreeing with Laf smiling._

_“wait wait wait! We’re talking about someone I am going out with?” they all agree laughing, and Eliza pipes up “did you see his smile? It was sweet but kinda crooked?” Peggy jumps up smiling “Yes! Like the man in the shoe!” everyone looks over at her like she's crazy but laughs again, and John feels his heart flutter at everyone accepting Alexander._

 

John snaps back to reality, feeling the tears bulging in his eyes at the memories. He wipes his eyes softly as Peggy pins the little sprig of a blue hydrangea to his lapel and hands him a tissue. soon Laf pops his head in the door and smiles warmly “John we gotta get you to the altar mon ami, were about to start..” 

So here we are. John is standing under an arch, wrapped in twinkling lights, hydrangeas, and lavender wrapped into the lights. Aaron, Herc, and Laf standing to his right, in nice suits and blue vests underneath their suit jackets. Angelica, Peggy, and Eliza standing to his left, in floor length flowing dresses that were blue on top, fading to a deep lavender at the bottom. 

As John is looking around he sees his siblings are sitting in the audience and smiles. even his father who’s never been a huge fan of his life choices came with almost no problem, just supporting him and being there for Johns’ special day. He could feel the tears welling up already. Soon enough the music began to play softly and everyone stood and turned towards the door. 

Instantly, John was a puddle of tears. There was Alexander, soon to be _his_ Alexander. Where John has a black suit jacket, black pants, white shirt, and black bowtie Alexander was in a white suit jacket, white pants a black shirt and a white bowtie. He looked beautiful, honestly truly. A week before the wedding he decided that he wanted to cut his hair, and did it? Without consulting john, to which john went full bridezilla on. 

 

_last week, John lays across his and Alexanders bed, flicking through a catalog of flowers, when he hears the door open and close. Alexander must be back from the store. He gets up and walks downstairs still looking at the catalog “babygirl do you think we should change the flowers? Maybe we have too ma-“ when he looks up from the catalog he sees Alexander and his hair, or lack thereof. His hair is now short on the sides, with a flop of longer hair on top (A/N like Lin’s hair now I don’t know how to describe it) instantly Johns jaw dropped “Alexander what did you do?! This is gonna ruin everything we already had planned?! Oh my god, we hired a hair stylist and the photographer is expecting you to have long hair?! We didn’t have soup on the menu because you didn’t want your hair to get in the soup?!” john is pacing back and forth when Alex grabs his wrist softly pulling him closer wrapping an arm around John’s waist and the other still holding his hand, swaying back and forth_

_“John baby, what did we say about panicking? We can get a refund for the hair stylist, the photographer is Theodosia, she knows me” he giggles softly, stretching up to kiss john “and no one wants to have soup at a wedding.” John sighs, bending down to rest his forehead on Alex’s as they slow dance, or really just rock back and forth in their kitchen. “I’m sorry babygirl, I just want everything to be perfect…”_

_“and it will be as long as you and I are there, getting married, becoming one”._

 

John smiles at the memory as Alexander approaches him, the shorter hair really suited him. He looks so good, in lieu of a bouquet, Alexander is wearing a flower crown, made of small violets, strands of lavender. Washington is walking with him, as they get closer John can see both of them have tears in their eyes. George smiles to John and lets’ go of Alexander’s arm, pulling him into a tight hug. Alex lets go and stands in front of john, tears rolling down almost everyone's face, John looks over to his father and even sees him wipe a tear.  
After the ceremony, they move to the hall where the reception is being held, everyone is eating or dancing, while John and Alex are sitting together at their table, Alex wrapping himself around John “I can’t believe we did that...” Alex says quietly, smiling into Johns side. John just hugs him tighter and kisses the top of his head “you and me forever babe…” Alex pulls himself closer into John's side "i never thought i'd be happy again, and you pulled me out of that dark place and John i will forever be thankful, i love you" "i love you too baby girl" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the first flashback was a friends reference! season 1 episode 3, the one with the thumb. i love friends you guys.


	2. a new addition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a new addition

Chapter 2- 

planning a new addition. 

 

-4 years later- 

 

John lays in bed, typing on his laptop- Alex is curled next to him, reading a thick book silently. John turns to his and pulls the book down softly, Alexander smiles at him “hey John baby, what’s up?” he says burying his face in John’s chest. John takes a deep breath then quickly blurts out “Alexanderiwanttohaveababy”

Alex’s head snaps up, instantly making eye contact with John, who’s trying his damnedest to not make eye contact with Alex. “what did you say?” Alex prods, pulling John’s chin to look at him. 

“never mind it was stupid, forget I said anything.” He says looking back to his computer. Alex silently closes the computer, moving it off of John’s lap and Alex moves to straddle Johns lap, taking Johns face in both of his hands “John Henry Laurens. Did you just say you want to have a baby with me?” Alex asks softly. John nods into Alexanders hands timidly, eyes becoming blurry and glassy with tears. Alex smiles kissing him warmly “you know it’s gonna be expensive? It’s much harder for the gays to reproduce than the heteros.” He adds laughing, John can’t help but chuckle back and flip Alex off of him pinning him to the mattress “oh god Alex, we’re going to be parents? I don’t know what to say? I jus-“ Alex cuts him off with a kiss. 

 

A few days later, Angelica, Eliza, Peggy, Herc, and Laf are all sitting in their living room on the still mismatched couches as Herc aimlessly clicks through channels on the tv, trying to find a good Christmas movie this early in December. Alex is Laying across the couch, head resting in Johns lap as he absentmindedly runs his fingers through Alex’s hair. No one has said anything in a while until Alex can’t take the silence anymore “guys, John and I are gonna have a baby!” he yells out sitting up promptly. Everyone snaps their head to the pair, John is just grinning like an idiot 

“what?!” Laf and Herc scream

“a niece or nephew?! Oh fuck I’m gonna spoil it” Peggy thinks out loud 

angelica and Eliza are just screaming plans for a nursery at each other, giddy as all hell. 

John just laughs, still grinning “okay everyone relax… we’re still in the planning phase. It’s going take a while, we need to find an IVF doctor, a surrogate, fuck we have no baby stuff?” he says staring off into space, thinking out loud.  
Suddenly, Eliza jumps up “I could do it!” she yells. Now, everyone snaps their head to Eliza’s direction. 

“Liza we can’t ask you to do that for us..” Alex says taking Eliza’s hand softly, John nods in agreement. 

“but you’re not asking me? I’m offering! I want to do this for you guys!” she says bouncing on her heels 

angelica cuts in this time “Eliza… this is a big responsibility. You have to be sure that you’re up for this? It’s going to be hard to carry a baby for nine months then just.. give it away” 

Eliza shrugs “I won’t be giving it away. It’s not mine to keep. I really want to do this for you guys” she adds, turning back to John and Alex, John has tears in his eyes and Alex just pulls her into a tight hug whispering “thank you so much, Liza…” 

 

The road to pregnancy was long and hard for all three involved. At the end of December, Alex and John shelled out $10,000 for the first round of IVF, and before they knew it they were looking at a little red plus in the spare bathroom of their apartment, crying with Eliza. They were going to be parents, oh god, parents. 

But not everything is forever, and sometimes things don’t happen like they’re supposed to, and sometimes you lose a baby that was meant to be loved for its entire life.

Losing the baby was something that truly killed Alexander. They bought so much, a crib, a stroller, a car seat. They were so ready. Alex would walk past what should have been the baby’s room and just sighs. He used to cry but now, just a sigh and keep working, a sigh and save money to try again. 

 

Around March, they tried again. 

Around April, they took the test and got a positive. Alexander wouldn’t let himself get excited, though. 

Around August, Eliza was showing like there was no tomorrow. She was halfway done, they were having a boy. Alexander finally let himself feel excited, to be happy that he was going to be a father. 

Thanksgiving, Eliza was about a month from her due date, or so she thought.  
It was a snowy thanksgiving day, the streets blanketed in the thick white flurries. John and Laf were camped in their kitchen, while Eliza, Peggy, and Angelica sat on the couch, Alex on the Lazy boy chair, watching the Macys Thanksgiving Day Parade. Peggy and Angelica happily played with Eliza’s large stomach, making the baby kick her and then laughing about it. 

Eliza just rolled her eyes, used to it now, until the baby laid a swift kick to her ribs and she groaned, smacking Angelica’s hand away “you can’t play with him anymore! Something about your voice makes him kick harder!” Eliza yells, rubbing her side. 

Alex smiles and gets up from the lazy boy, kneeling in front of Eliza, putting his hands on her belly softly smiling “hey my boy... are your aunts bothering you?” he whispers softly, then breaks into a huge, toothy grin when he feels his son kicking at his hands, not as hard as his kicks to Angelica. Instantly John is next to him sitting on the ground “I wanna try!” he says, placing his hands where Alex’s once rested, but instantly the kicking stops. John drops his hands defeatedly.

“my son hates me.” He says, moping. Alex laughs and kisses his cheek “he does not hate you, John, he’s literally in utero, he’s never met you” Alex says smiling into Johns' cheek, taking his hand and puts it on Eliza’s bump, his hand on top of Johns when suddenly there’s a little push and instantly Johns' face lights up with a thousand-watt smile “that’s my son! I feel him!” 

“ _MERDE_ JOHN WE HAVE A THANKSGIVING SITUATION MON AMI, REPORT TO THE KITCHEN MERCI” Laf screams from the kitchen; instantly John is up running into the kitchen laughing. 

A few hours later as the Thanksgiving Day Parade was ending, Eliza got up to head into the kitchen. “do you boys need he- _OH FUCK?_ ” she yells clutching her sides tightly. Instantly Angelica is at her side clutching her arm 

“Eliza are you okay? What happened?” 

“i-I think my water broke?” 

John drops the pot of mashed potatoes and is instantly at Eliza’s side also “oh my god what do we do? What do we do?! Should I call 911? Do you need a towel?” 

Angelica shoots him a death glare “we have to take her to the hospital you stupid fuck?” 

Eliza groans clutching Angelica's arm “ but the turkeeeyyyy-“ John can’t help but laugh, as angelica glares at him again, pulling Eliza to the door. Alex, Peggy, Herc, and Laf are all collecting coats and such to walk out with her. 

“fuck john we’re going to be parents” Alex whispers as they walk down the stairs of the apartment building, carrying a bag of clothes for Eliza’s hospital stay.  
Once at the hospital, Angelica Wheeled Eliza into the room and instantly closed the door in John and Alex’s face, telling them not to worry, they’ll be allowed in later. 

“she can’t do that? That’s my son?!” John is fuming in the waiting room, Alex rubs his hand affectionately “baby maybe she just wants a minute alone with her, we’ll be in later.” 

An hour later, no news. 

Two hours, nothing. Alex and John were antsy, but the nurses were told not to let either of them back through the doors to the baby center. John was angry, clenching and unclenching his fists, while Alex more or less moped. He wanted to be back there, he didn’t want to miss the first moments of his son's life. 

Meanwhile, in the hospital room, Eliza is groaning in bed, “Angelica where is everyone? They’d make me feel better” she whines holding a cold rag to her forehead. Angelica avoids her eyes, resting her elbows on the edge of the bed, her head in her hands and watching the TV that hangs from the wall. 

Eliza sits up slightly and pulls angelica’s arm so her head falls, instantly her head snaps up to meet Eliza’s eyes. “Angelica, what did you do?” 

Angelica sighs and rubs her eyes, then looks at her with a pleading look in her eyes “Eliza please… we can keep it.” She says, a begging tone akin to her voice. 

“Angelica are you sick?! This isn’t my baby! This baby is literally in every genetic way Alex and Johns!! That’s fucking kidnapping!” 

“no! I looked it up you can fight for this baby! You birthed it! It's part yours! It’s a Schuyler, Eliza you don’t have to do this, they’ll understand.” 

“I don’t want this baby! Angelica, why are you acting like this? John and Alex are our best friends, I’m not keeping their baby and you can’t keep them out of the room!” 

“fine! Then I’ll keep the baby. Please, Eliza, don’t just give your child away- let me care for it!” 

Eliza is hit with another wave of contractions, and her temper is flaring wildly. She hits the nurse call button, and soon Nina, her midwife walks in “what can I get you, dear?” 

“I need the other people waiting for me in the waiting room to come in and I need her” she throws a pointed look to angelica “escorted out of my room”. Angelica’s jaw drops as Nina grabs her arm softly pulling her up 

“you’re kicking me out?!” angelica yells, Eliza just nods as she clamps up through another contraction. “maybe don’t act like you’re going to steal the baby and we’ll talk about you being invited back in” Eliza yells down the hall

as Angelica enters the waiting room, Nina still clutching her arm John shoots up and is instantly right in front of her “What the fuck is your problem? Huh?” Alex pulls him back by his hand “babe don’t make a scene, we’re already kicked out of the room don’t get us kicked out of the hospital too…” Angelica just turns her nose up, pushes past John and sits next to Peggy silently. 

“sorry about the confusion, but Eliza would like to see everyone else, so follow me,” Nina said smiling. John and Alex stand, looking back to Herc, Laf and Peggy “are you guys coming?”

“no mon amis, this is your time” Laf answers smiling, pushing them back smiling. 

once in the room, Eliza instantly was reaching her hands out, and John and Alex were at her sides holding her hands “you guys I’m so sorry I didn’t know Ang didn’t let you guys in I’m so sorry” she apologized profusely. 

“Hey, hey. It’s okay Eliza, we know you didn’t know” Alex cooed softly, pushing her hair out of her face smiling. “we’re here now that’s all that matters” 

the doctor sits in front of Eliza, helping raise her feet “okay dear, were gonna start pushing, are you ready?” Eliza just nods, squeezing John and Alex’s hands.

 

After an hour and a half of pushing, he was here. Philip James Hamilton, an olive skinned baby with tufts of curls on his head to match Johns. He was small, being a month early. 5 lbs 10 oz, 18 inches long. While Eliza slept John sat on the couch they pulled into Eliza’s room, Alex was between his legs, his back against Johns' chest, and held Philip as he cooed and gurgled softly. “we’re parents, John. We’re parents to an amazing, beautiful small boy..” Alex whispered as he adjusted the blue blanket the hospital swaddled Philip in smiling. This was the happiest moment of johns life, in the corner of a hospital room, their own private corner of the universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos appreciated- follow me? 
> 
> 365daysofvictoria.tumblr.com
> 
> twitter: @365daysofvic
> 
> my cats instagram (she's very cute trust me) @moanathecat_


	3. AN

Yo my dudes, I know it's been a while since I updated, but life is hectic as my college semester is ending, I'm working, AAAAND also having some mental health issues . I promise an update is coming, it's just coming along slowly. Thank you for understanding and sticking around!


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